Creatively Funning Up Your Alley

With the antics at the Dore Alley street fair in the spotlight, it might be time for some new traditions

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San Francisco's War on Fun has targeted South of Market's racy street fairs. With the crackdown on sexy time at the Up Your Alley fetish festival on Dore Alley this weekend come suggestions on how to have fun without running afoul of organizers or authorities.

From pony play to furry fun, the San Francisco Appeal has some great suggestions on fun fetishes without the incarceration hangover.

Our favorite from the Appeal's guide is the "English Tea Party." It's not, actually, a euphemism -- though maybe it's time to make it one?

(Whatever you come up with, it should probably involve an out-stretched pinky.)

We'd like to add a few suggestions of our own!

  • Consensual Frottage: Don't let the Muni Humper have all the fun -- keep your chaps on that flank and heat things up with a dry rub. But ask first! Nonconsensual frotteurism could get you chained up and whipped on the spot.
  • Guerrilla Village People: If the fuzz will be out in force, take advantage, since who doesn't love someone in uniform? Just dress up like the rest of the Village People, quietly line up behind an officer (preferably striking the "YMCA" pose) and have a friend take a snap. They'll be none the wiser and you'll have a memory to last a lifetime, or at least three to five minutes.
  • Fabulous Apping: For you iPhone owners, Loopt is apparently the hot application download for finding friends nearby. Or maybe film something riskée in private with the video camera on the newest iPhone model and whip it out when you meet someone special at the fair. Just remember, kids, use direct messaging on Twitter unless you want the world to know.
  • Flirting with Higher Office: Pucker up for the camera and send a photo to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom telling him how much you love same-sex marriage, how great he looks on the campaign trail, and how public events like the Up Your Alley street fair could really use his support!

Photo by Flickr user bastique.

Jackson West hopes everyone has a safe and sane time, and applies plenty of sunscreen all over.

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