Seriously, would someone just buy San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary a copy of the Madden '10 video game for Christmas? Because then the guy might understand the basic elementary strategies of coaching a football team.
Not to bitch, but the 49ers blew a very winnable game to the San Diego Chargers by the embarassing blowout score of 34-7 on Thursday Night Football at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego.
Don't believe the score. The two teams' talent appeared even. But the 49ers coaches made a non-stop litany of fundamental, idiotic mistakes with the wrong play-call in every possible situation ranging from the close first quarter, to the prayer-of-a-chance second and third quarters, to the final four-touchown gap of the fourth quarter.
Vernon Davis? He's good, isn't he? He had zero catches for zero yards.
Brian Westbrook? Didn't he have 136 yards two weeks ago against Arizona? He had eight carries for 22 yards against the Chargers.
Justin Smith got ejected from the game for shoving an umpire. Justin Smith has never previously lost his composure and never been ejected once in his ten-year career. Perhaps his current coaching staff is just bumbling and thoroughly lacking in ability to enforce player discipline?
Alex Smith was 19-of-29 and was sacked six times. Most of them after the game was out of reach, when the 49ers were going for broke on each play. You know when to start going for broke on each play, Coach Singletary? The fourth quarter, and not the second.
Singletary single-handedly invited the blowout with a monumentally moronic miscall in the first quarter. He took points off the board when the Chargers committed a penalty on a first quarter 49ers field goal attempt, being gifted a first and goal at the Chargers' ten-yard line.
And then they blew it on downs, with first and goal at the ten-yard line, after taking the points off the board. This is entirely the function of insanely %$&@#! bad coaching!
I'm sorry, I'm out of characters. The 49ers performed every bit as well from a talent perspective, and still somehow found a way to get annihilated 34-7.
That's on the coaches. That's just the dumbest possible play-call in every single situation in every aspect of the game.
The 49ers have actually still got a shot at the playoffs. If they win the final two games, combined with St. Louis and Seattle losses, they still win the NFC West division.
Can we do a coaching change in Week 16 of the regular season?
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who could have coached the 49ers tonight in a completely blacked-out Jagermeister stupor and still somehow won this thing on a Jeff Reed field goal in the middle of the fourth quarter.