The One Thing That Might Actually Be ‘The Warriors of ______'

Now that the "They're the Warriors of _______" is an actual thing – albeit a monumentally stupid thing employed by lazy people who think slogans replace thinking as a pastime – let's discuss the one thing that might actually be "The Warriors of ________."

The New England Patriots.

It is generally agreed that these Patriots have an excellent chance to go 19-0, which is as many games as an NFL team is allowed to play. It is considered almost an article of faith that this might be the best roster Bill Belichick has ever assembled. And Tom Brady is 40 years old and will never age, because we as a culture have lost the concept of time.

But nobody has said the Patriots are "The Warriors of the NFL," because it is too easy and convenient outside New England to paint the Patriots as "The Lannisters of the NFL."

They do villainy too easily simply by rejecting the concept of villainy, exchanging it for a ruthless (and altogether mirthless) mega-pragmatism that acts like dry ice on skin.

But the Patriots are indeed that very team, unless you prefer to look at Real Madrid as "the Warriors of international soccer," which is as apt a comparison but loses the thicker members of the Flat Earth Society who don't even think there are any other continents.

In the meantime, it's the Patriots. And remember, when you get even crankier than you did about the people who called the Dodgers "The Warriors of baseball," the Warriors are not considered all that lovable outside God's Nine Counties, either. Steve Kerr doesn't play quiet malevolence nearly as well as Belichick, but we do obsess over Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant the way we do about Brady. And the wins and the ratings points just pile up.

And ultimately, the Patriots seem to be scary good – that is until someone misses an assignment, Brady gets clocked, and suddenly football weeps because it will have no Warriors at all.

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