Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and furiously file for a tax return extension. One day, you’ll actually get these things done in time. LET’S GO!
SNL IN THE 2000’s: TIME AND AGAIN – 9:00PM (NBC)
I don’t know why they added the “Time and Again” subtitle to this retrospective special. Makes the whole enterprise sound like a Will To Power greatest hits album. Anyway, this special looks back at the past 10 years of the show, yet will likely fail to explain why Seth Meyers now has a prominent role in the broadcast. Some mysteries in life must remain forever unsolved. ANTICIPATION: IT’S THE NEW BLACK!
LARRY KING LIVE – 9:00PM (CNN)
Oh, Larry. Getting divorced yet again? For the eighth time? My, my goodness. This man is a womanizing menace, and must be stopped. Luckily, I have the perfect NINTH wife for our suspendered and cadaverous news emperor: tonight’s LKL guest Ann Coulter! Think about it. She’s blonde. She’s FEISTY. She’s rich. She looks like a trophy wife. What’s not for Larry to love? ANTICIPATION: SPARKS FLY!
BRAVEHEART – 8:00PM (TNT)
True story: In college, I knew a dude who would go up to girls at parties and give them the Braveheart line (in a full Scottish brogue): “Aye love ya. Ullwees have. Aye wunt ta murry ye.” AND IT WORKED! He hooked up with, like five girls this way. Unreal. ANTICIPATION: THEY MAY TAKE YOUR HOOKUP, BUT THEY’LL NEVER TAKE YOUR PICKUP LINE
SECRET HISTORY OF THE ATOM BOMB – 9:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network)
Did you know the atom bomb once had a torrid love affair with Princess Grace of Monaco? AND the atom bomb once personally depantsed the Prime Minister of Canada? You see? So many things you didn’t know about Oppenheimer’s deadly toy. ANTICIPATION: I HOPE THE RUSSIANS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN TOO
PROJECT RUNWAY – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network)
It’s the first part of the season finale tonight. That means no one gets eliminated at the end, and we get to see Tim Gunn visit the finalists in their natural habitats. It’s kind of sweet. Then again, no one gets humiliated. I kinda like that more. Also, no episode can be called a finale when it’s split in two and the finale of the finale airs a week later. ANTICIPATION: MORE ANTICIPATION!