PopcornBiz
What's really worth watching

Trailer Park: Seeking Justice!

Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    Nicolas Cage, Guy Pearce, and January Jones star in this revenge thriller coming March 16th (Published Wednesday, Feb 1, 2012)

    Anyone can tell you if a trailer "looks good" or not. But Drew Magary, who spent over a decade working in advertising, is here to tell you whether or not a trailer WORKS. This week's trailer? "Seeking Justice".

    If it’s early in the year, that means it’s time for Nic Cage to pay off his creditors by starring in a laughably bad action film. In fact, Cage is coming on strong with TWO action movies early this year, including that “Ghost Rider” sequel that no one asked for. Today, we’re gonna take a look at “Seeking Justice,” a movie that was already released in the UK and Italy way back in the fall and lands with a thud here in the US in March. HOWEVER, before we go dismissing this one as another chance for Cage to pay his 27th mortgage, you should know that “Justice” was directed by Roger Donaldson, the man in charge of brilliant pulp movies like “No Way Out” and “The Bank Job”. And look! There’s Guy Pearce! Guy Pearce is awesome! And Cage has a goatee! Could it be that Cage’s new venture is secretly going to be a well-executed genre movie, not unlike “The Grey”? Let’s watch the trailer and answer a few questions.

    Does this trailer let us know what the movie is about? Yes. Nic Cage is an ordinary fella married to January Jones, and clearly he loves her because he gave her fancy jewelry. Then, one night, Jones goes out walking and is assaulted. So there’s Cage in the hospital waiting room, tearing his hair out, when Guy Pearce sidles up and is like, “Oh hey, we know your wife’s rapist and we can, like, kill him for you real easy bro.” Now, any normal person in this instance would probably ask, “Uh… how do you know my wife’s rapist? And why don’t you just call the police for me?” But Cage is way too smart for that. Instead, he takes Pearce up on his offer despite it being pretty clear that Pearce was probably the rapist in question. Pearce offs the guy, demands Cage kill another fella in return, and justice is sought. I’m not sure you need to watch the movie after knowing all that.

    Does Cage cry? He does. Every Cage movie must feature him experiencing some kind of personal agony, culminating with him letting out a primal howl and demanding to know why the world is such a cruel, horrible place.

    Does this whole eye-for-an-eye scheme go helplessly awry? It does.

    Does Cage shed his everyman persona and eventually decide to start whoopin’ some butts? You know he does. HE IS FINISHED! YOU HEAR HIM, GUY?!

    Does stuff blow up real good? TOTALLY!

    Does a car go flying off an overpass? Oh yes. There’s also somethin’ goin’ on with a train. I bet it smashes a car real good.

    Did Tobey Maguire produce this movie? He did! I was wondering what Tobey was up to all this time, and now I know.

    Why was this movie originally titled “The Hungry Rabbit Jumps”? No idea. Might have sounded good in Italian. Anyway, you’re stuck with the generic new title now.

    Does this trailer work? No. I think there’s no doubt that this movie will at least be better than “Drive Angry,” but the title and the generic plot aren’t gonna be enough to draw in viewers who have been burned by Cage once too many times. Also, this movie comes out the week before “The Hunger Games”. Which movie do you think Americans will save up some spare cash to go see?