Judging Ellen as a Paula's "Idol" Replacement

Ellen's more sane approach could backfire

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Ellen DeGeneres isn't as loopy as Paula Abdul, and that could be a bad thing for "American Idol."

    While we've been hearing for months about all of the very special guest judges who are taking on the audition rounds (from Neil Patrick Harris to Katy Perry and everyone in between), the looming question has been if anyone would take over the fourth seat vacated by Paula Abdul on a permanent basis. Well, we now have an answer: Yes, Ellen DeGeneres. Hiring the popular daytime talk show host and comedian instead of any of the music industy vets we had hoped for could be a stroke of genius -- or it could spell disaster for TV's top-rated program. We've weighed the pros and cons of Idol's newest judge.

    Pro: She's not crazy
    We loved Paula and her wacky nonsensical commentary, but it might be a refreshing change of pace to have someone who isn't sipping strange substances out of her Coca-Cola cup and slurring her speech, attempting to give constructive criticism to the wannabes.

    Con: She's not crazy
    Paula's unpredictability was half of the fun of the show. Scholars could spend decades trying to figure out what she meant by certain comments. Having someone like Ellen might eliminate the wacky magic.

    Pro: She likes to dance
    Ellen's talk-show schtick is her lame dance moves, and we always enjoyed watching Paula sway obliviously along to the music like she wasn't actually working. We expect Ellen to continue in this grand tradition.

    Con: She knows nothing about music
    Ellen may have a DJ on her show and like to boogie, but she's not in the music industry at all. She's not a record producer or a former artist or even a Broadway star, she's just a famous person with opinions, and we've already got Randy (who is useless) and Kara (who is also useless) on the panel. Simon can't be the only one who actually gives honest and informed critiques.

    Pro: She may finally put a stop to the weird gay comments between Simon and Seacrest Since she is out and proud, she might take offense to the annoying innuendo-filled banter between Simon and Ryan about who is really gay. We'd be thrilled if she was able to make this inanity end.

    Con: We won't have to watch awkward flirting/fighting with Simon
    Paula and Simon had one of the most bizarre relationships on television, and that's something that Ellen won't be able to recreate. She's not interested in Simon sexually, so there won't be any tabloid fodder about their secret relationship, and there won't be that playful "I hate you" stuff going on, unless Ellen is able to channel her inner third grader.

    Pro: She'll add some humor to the dull repetitiveness of Randy/Kara
    We're hoping that she'll acknowledge her lack of music expertise and just go for the funny (like she did as a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance last summer). Cracking jokes about costumes or her fellow judges or the particular theme weeks could lighten things up on judging panel. And it will be better than just saying "pitchy" and "package artist" over and over again.

    Con: Her comments will be irrelevant
    Is anyone in America really going to take Ellen's opinion over Simon? Even if she tries to give a critique instead of making a snarky remark, no one is going to go against the grain and go with her.

    Pro: She's used to having a show and understands being succinct
    Hopefully she'll be able to gather her thoughts (or her writers will help her pre-plan some jokes) so that she can deliver her line and not ramble on for 20 minutes, causing the live show to go way over its schedule. She's a TV pro with ample hosting experience and is used to getting right to the point. Maybe she can even give Seacrest some tips.

    Con: She might not be mean
    Paula was always way, way too nice, but the last thing this judging panel really needs is another person to be sensitive to the talentless. Ellen might be afraid of hurting the feelings of the wannabes and resort to making the kind comment instead of using some biting wit to really tell them what she thinks. Can you imagine Kathy Griffin telling these contestants what they are doing wrong? That'd be awesome, and we just don't think Ellen has it in her.

    Pro: She might help ratings
    Clearly, the reason that producers hired her was because Ellen's a recognizable household name and will be able to use her daily talk show to pimp their show. Not that the AI juggernaut really needs the help, but it has been slipping in the ratings, so she could reinvigorate and grow their audience.

    Con: She's not Paula
    Sorry, Ellen, but Paula is forever our girl. Watching Idol without her would be like SYTYCD without Mary Murphy screaming. Eventually we'll warm up to someone new, but it's just going to be an awkward transition period until we get there.

    What do you think about Ellen joining the Idol judges? Great idea, or major mistake? Leave your comments below.