You need not worry about Stephen Jackson moping around and feeling sorry for himself now that his season has ended prematurely with a foot injury. Jackson's birthday is this weekend, and that young man's fancy has turned to throwing himself one hell of a party.
SFist.com is reporting that Stack Jack has lined up Snoop Dogg to perform at his birthday bash this Friday at the San Francisco nightclub Mezzanine. It's an exclusive party called "Hollywood Nights", and it's so exclusive a party that everyday fools like you and me can get past the velvet rope and rub elbows with Snoop and Stack with the purchase of a $40 ticket.
Snoop Dogg performing at a nightclub party hosted by an NBA player who once fired his handgun outside a strip club and previously had punched a fan in the stands of an NBA game? I can't imagine any way the police end up getting involved in Friday night's proceedings.
If you plan on attending, be aware the Mezzanine's on line events calendar says that a strict dress code will be in effect for this event. "No Sports Wear, No Tennis Shoes, No Hats, No T-Shirts," according to the club's promotional calendar. No sports wear? So you can't even wear a Stephen Jackson jersey to Stephen Jackson's birthday party.
All kidding aside, this another nice effort on Jackson's part to get back in the good graces of everyday fans after all the unpleasantness of his Indiana tenure. Jackson isn't getting arrested anymore, and whenever he makes the evening news these days it's for the right reasons.
But all the strangeness on the good ship Warriors this season makes it reasonable to wonder -- is the recurrence of Jackson's foot injury suspiciously tied to the fact that he just got Snoop Dogg to come perform at his birthday party? We all recall Terrell Owens' history of skipping team functions in the days leading up to his own birthday bashes. And we recall that Jackson's foot injury is not new, it's one of those "old injury acting up again" deals. We also recall that Coach Nelson has been skipping games arbitrarily now that the Warriors are firmly established as a lottery team. Jackson and Nelson may be close enough that game-skipping privileges are now extended to Captain Jack as well.
Consider also that the Warriors happen to have a game scheduled the very night Snoop Dogg is playing Jackson's birthday party. The Warriors tip off against the New Orleans Hornets at 7:30 p.m. Friday night in Oakland, but the doors open at 9 p.m. for Jackson's nightclub birthday party in San Francisco. Certainly any reasonably transit-aware person could make both the game and the party afterward across the Bay -- but if you had Snoop Dogg playing your birthday later that evening, would you be showing up for work that night? Or would your old injury pick that weekend to start acting up again?
I wouldn't count on Stack Jack being present on the Warriors' bench Friday evening. And if this party is really as good as advertised, then maybe scratch him from attending the Sacramento game Sunday as well.
Joe Kukura is a freelance writer who sure hopes all these wisecracks and game-skipping innuendos don't affect his guest list status for Friday night at Club Mezzanine.