At the Santa Clara Marriott, there's clearly a conspiracy to assault your senses with tacky floor coverings.
It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, and so it may come as a surprise that many of the worlds leading conspiracy theorists and their admirers will be gathering in one place for Conspiracy Con 2009.
After all, if the Illuminati really do control the world, would it be so hard to silence all who might expose them at the Santa Clara Marriott this weekend?
Of course not, because that would obviously expose the plot! At least that's the sort of circular logic employed by the likes of radio host George Noory.
But if you have a strong opinion about the number of shooters in Dallas on that fateful day in 1963, or who Charles Manson was working for, or exactly what government scientists found when they performed that alien autopsy in Roswell, New Mexico, here's your chance to fall in among some fellow travelers.
The full weekend, including a four course banquet, will cost you $199 -- but don't worry, if anyone can handle the power of the pyramid and all-seeing eye on the backs of those dollars, the event's organizers probably can.
Photo by Aaron Gustafson.
Jackson West has long been a part of the commie plot to corrupt your precious bodily fluids.