“It’s tricky. It’s never been done before. It’s gonna need planning and a large crew.”
“What’s the target?”
“The Lombardi Trophy.”
The Kansas City Chiefs and San Francisco 49ers are looking to put on a Las Vegas show when they face off in Super Bowl LVIII. It’s the first ever Super Bowl in a city known for its bright lights – and heists.
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The 1960 Rat Pack film “Ocean’s 11” and 2001 “Ocean’s Eleven” remake center around a series of Sin City robberies. Danny Ocean is the mastermind behind it all, but he can’t get it done without his crew.
With the Super Bowl making its Las Vegas debut, we’re left to wonder: Which NFL stars would make the best heist crew?
Here’s a "Gridiron's 11" and the “Ocean’s Eleven” roles they would play in the heist:
Patrick Mahomes – Danny Ocean (George Clooney)
Patrick Mahomes doesn’t want just one Lombardi Trophy – he wants three.
The Kansas City Chiefs quarterback is the George Clooney/Danny Ocean of the NFL right now. He already has two Super Bowl rings and two Super Bowl MVPs in his trophy case. Just like Danny planned a heist around three casinos, Mahomes will be chasing a trifecta in Vegas.
Travis Kelce – Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt)
Travis Kelce may not be eating every time he’s on screen like Brad Pitt’s “Ocean’s” character, but he’s still the main character’s right-hand man.
Rusty Ryan’s opening scene shows him teaching Hollywood A-listers how to play poker, and Kelce has probably taught the world’s biggest celebrity a thing or two about football.
Brock Purdy – Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon)
Whether it’s pickpocketing someone on the train or trying to con a casino mogul, Matt Damon’s Linus Caldwell tries to be Mr. Irrelevant. One scene in particular between Linus and Rusty could also be mistaken for head coach Kyle Shanahan telling Brock Purdy his role in the 49ers offense:
“Be specific, but not memorable. Be funny, but don’t make him laugh. He’s got to like you and then forget you the moment you’ve left his sight.”
Andy Reid – Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould)
Reuben Tishkoff gave Danny and Rusty the resources to prepare their heist, and Andy Reid gives Mahomes and Kelce similar tools on the field with his coaching prowess.
Reid knows more about modern offense than any man alive – he invented it!
Mike McDaniel – Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison)
Every heist crew needs a hacker like Livingston Dell, and Mike McDaniel has found some cheat codes on the Miami Dolphins’ sideline.
Deebo Samuel – Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle)
Basher is one of several wild cards in Ocean’s crew, and Deebo Samuel is perhaps the biggest wild card in the entire NFL.
Whether he’s receiving, running or returning, the opposing team is in Barney whenever Samuel has the ball in his hands.
Tyreek Hill – The Amazing Yen (Qin Shaobo)
Tyreek Hill is this crew’s grease man.
The Dolphins wideout is just as lightning fast and impossible to catch as "The Amazing Yen," making the impossible possible with his physical gifts.
Derrick Henry – Frank Catton (Bernie Mac)
Frank Catton, played by the late Bernie Mac, runs a “Jim Brown,” a maneuver in which he gets in an argument with Linus to distract casino owner Terry Benedict while Linus steals codes to the bank vault.
Derrick Henry brings some of the bruising carries and breakaway touchdowns from Brown’s historic career to the field today.
Nick and Joey Bosa – The Malloy Brothers (Casey Affleck and Scott Caan)
Had Kelce not already had a role in this heist crew, he and his brother, Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce, would have been perfect as the Malloy boys.
Instead, we’ll give the role of the distracted siblings to another pair involving a Super Bowl star: 49ers edge rusher Nick Bosa and Los Angeles Chargers defensive end Joey Bosa.
Tom Brady – Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner)
Now you might think Tom Brady would make sense as Danny, but he also has plenty of similarities to both Saul Bloom and Ivan Boesky.
Like Saul, Brady is retired and can be an elder statesman in the group. Saul’s role in the heist is named after Boesky, a wealthy trader who got caught committing securities fraud. Brady has his own trading troubles, as he was accused of defrauding investors by promoting FTX.
